my love letter to showing up
- emikearns
- Jun 28, 2025
- 7 min read
Something I stand by is that you should try to wish the best for everyone. Now, you're probably wondering: Why would I wish the best for someone if they would not wish the best for me? Why would I wish the best for someone if they hurt me? Why would I wish the best for someone who is no longer in my life? Why would I wish the best for someone if I don't even know them? It's a silly thing, but going about your life with the mental maturity to appreciate others to the extent of wishing success upon them, no matter their degree of importance and significance in your life, is something that ultimately reflects the character of who you are and the value you hold to the world and those around you. We as individuals truly are a collection of everything around us. There is a sense of maturity in appreciating those who have made you feel hurt, but there is an even deeper sense of maturity in realizing that this appreciation does not mean you deserved how they treated you, nor does it mean you deserve to continue feeling that hurt----both from them or others beyond them. There is someone out in the world who will appreciate you for everything someone was unable to. So many people love you. Don't focus on the people who don't.
Good people exist. Maybe this is a difficult realization to come to terms with, but it is true. There are people who love the character of who you are. There are people who care about the things you are passionate about, even simply for the reason that you're passionate about it. There are people who will not make you wonder or make you feel less than your importance. There are people who won't judge you. There are people who support you. There are people who speak highly of you even in a conversation you are not present for. I wholeheartedly believe in investing your energy in the people and things that bring you joy. There is a life beyond every negative thing life has to offer; there is so much good you have yet to experience.
A mindset I have been implementing into my life is, "You owe it to yourself." It's simple really; the idea that you should do what is good for you rather than something that is not. Moreover, you should do things that are good for you because you deserve it. For the past few months, and more specifically within this past month, I have become so fixated with trying to better myself. My whole life, I have always had endless aspirations, some of which I have achieved, while some of which I have yet to. I tend to have a sense of fear that since I have so many aspirations, I will one day look back with the realization that I never met them or never took the right paths to do so. Time is such an intimidating, yet fascinating and fleeting concept; it can move so fast when you don't realize it, but the more focused you are on it, the slower it becomes. A lesson I take from this is to be inspired by the fear of being average. Don't let the image of your potential blind you from reaching it. You owe it to yourself. You owe it to yourself to be happy. You owe it to yourself to be at peace. You owe it to yourself to be the best version of yourself that you can be.
This previous school year, I had the honor of meeting some truly fascinating people who have helped shaped me into who I am currently. I would not be where I am today, writing this article, without the support, love, honesty, and life lessons that I have been given the opportunity to experience. I like to refer to these past few months as a period of personal growth for myself, rooted in being so immersed in the little things and particular people in life. I have spent so much time focused on these minuscule things that I distracted myself from the bigger things going on in my life and the lives of those around me. Note that this can be interpreted many different ways. Life is about appreciating the little things it has to offer. This being said, you cannot live a life based solely on the little things if it means you have to sacrifice appreciating the bigger moments and the lessons they carry.
Everything is a privilege. Getting to wake up in the morning is a privilege. Getting to be you is a privilege. Getting to experience all of the loveliest things that life has to offer is a privilege. Getting to experience all of the negative things that life has to offer is a privilege. There is someone out in the world who wishes they were in your place. There is someone who wishes they could physically get themselves out of bed in the morning. There is someone who wishes they had a bed to wake up to the morning in. There is someone who wishes they could do as many reps as you can. There is someone who wishes they could workout without the fear of risking their health. There is someone who wishes they could write like you. There is someone who wishes they had the arm strength to write. There is someone who wishes they could have a pencil to write with. You are so incredibly lucky to feel the depth of every feeling and to be in the position you hold in the life that you have been given. You are so incredibly lucky to be you. Never, never, never let someone take who you are, away from you. Ever.
I like to think of myself as a very self-moral-based person. I'm not someone who is regulated by the fear of missing out. I'm not someone who tries to fit in just for the feeling of comfort in others liking me. I'm not someone who will give into what I feel is wrong, if it means I have to go against what I think is right. Note that this can be interpreted in many different ways. Sometimes you have to go against what you think is right because, as the fact goes, you are never always right. You have to learn to accept that you can be in the wrong and that it is a beautiful thing to have your morals challenged. Embrace and appreciate the state of being wrong. I try to make efforts to formulate my feelings toward people based on how I know them and what I know about them, rather than basing my feelings on how others feel, and what others say, about them. My appreciation towards those around me is rooted in my appreciation of their character. Considering this, I feel it is so incredibly important to show the people you appreciate, that you appreciate them. I've said it before and I will say it again: If you see something beautiful in someone, say it. It could last with them for a lifetime.
My whole life I have always felt out of place among the people I am around. In this, from an early age, I craved the feeling of being understood, due to my feeling of lacking understanding among those in my life. I never cared about being popular, or maybe I did on the play structure when I was in elementary; but then again, I never cared about being popular, only about being understood for how I played on the play structure. If you know me, you know I am wordy. I write a lot within my texts. I use an abundance of exclamation points, and when I say an abundance, I mean an abundance!!!!!!!!!!! I have commonly used phrases that I implement within every form of communication I conduct. I emphasize these characteristics because they relate to one of my favorite phrases: Authenticity is magnetic. Be yourself. Enjoy the things you enjoy. Let people judge you. There is no one in the world who is like you, other than you. In this, you have to stop being so critical of yourself. There have been countless moments in my life where I have found myself feeling as though I am too loud, too quiet, too mature, too immature, too similar, too different, from those around me. Here is my take on these moments from the perspective of where I am mentally at the current moment: You really have to come to the understanding that you are not too much, nor are you too little. You are enough just as you are. Comparison really is the thief of joy. One of my dearest friends once signed my yearbook saying I was the strangest person she had ever met. While it sounds funny, I find this to be one of the highest forms of flattery I have received. It reminds me to stay different and to stay me. As the saying goes, be different and be you. I often remind my friends that if someone does not like them, they should know they are doing something right. Let. People. Judge. You. As I said in my previous blog post, "Gentle reminder, you can't make everyone like you. It is a hard thing to come to terms with but at the end of the day, it's true. Despite this truth, always remember to be good and kind. How you make others feel about themselves says a lot about you. Be the reason someone feels welcomed, seen, heard, valued, loved, and supported."
If I could end this article with any piece of advice, it is this: Just show up. Show up for yourself. Show up for those in your life. Show up for those who you care about. Show up for those who love you. Show up for those who don't love you. Show up when you're tired. Show up when you're sad. Show up when you feel helpless. Show up when you don't want to. Show up when you are in a positive place in your life. Show up when you are in a negative place in your life, but most importantly, just show up. Continue to love. Continue to forgive. Continue to grow.
Gentle Reminders:
When in doubt, be kind.
Find empathy.
Learn to regroup yourself.
Change the world by being you.
Do not let someone make you feel that your passions are disregarded. You are so much more than a situation that brings you anything other than happiness.
The only way to find happiness is to risk being completely open.
There is peace in not knowing.
A lot can happen in a week.
Mistakes are meant to realign you, not define you.
Appreciate learning from your negative experiences just as much as you appreciate learning from your positive experiences.
How you make others feel says a lot about the character of who you are.
Respect those in your life who have shown you love and support backed with compassion and understanding, just as much as you should respect those in your life who have shown you animosity and contempt backed with disregard and insignificance. Both give you lessons that shape you into who you are. Appreciate them.
with love,
em 𓇼
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