my love letter to growth
- emikearns
- Aug 4, 2025
- 5 min read
Be so authentically you that everyone around you has no other choice than to accept you for who you are. Tell the people you love, that you love them. Introduce yourself to the people you are gravitated towards knowing. Invest your energy with the people you feel safe and comfortable being around, especially if it is their goal of making you feel as such. Wish happiness to all of those around you, no matter if someone may have hurt you to achieve it. Life is far too short and fleeting to hold feelings of contempt, regret, and revenge. Simply be kind, and be you.
I've had so many conversations lately that have led to taking about the past. One topic of conversation that seems to be the most reoccurring just so happens to be middle school. I often refer to eighth grade as the worst year of my life. While yes, there were so many great memories and people in the midst of the school year, I was so immersed in my thoughts and those around me that I lost my sense of self and the happiness I could've experienced, had I not allowed myself to fall into a negative headspace and environment. I found myself falling asleep on my bedroom floor; being so mentally and physically exhausted that I couldn't get enough energy to go to sleep on my bed. I felt on auto-pilot and I viewed every task I did as something to be crossed off a checklist of to-dos. I was living in the future with no regard to the past or present. I felt insignificant and that any action I did would go unnoticed and unappreciated for that very reason. I found myself in a constant mindset of: I can't wait for the last bell to ring. I can't wait for the weekend. I can't wait to go to high school. I can't wait to meet new people and forget everyone around me. I can't wait to graduate. [Little note that 1. Everything happens for a reason. You will never forget all of the people you have met, nor will you be able to avoid them for the rest of your life. 2. Everyone comes into your life for a reason, and often, if they aren't in your life currently, will come back into your life. Value everyone, and upmost, be kind to them.] I let the drama consume me and the insecurity of being judged cloud me from appreciating everything and everyone for what it was and who they were. I still find myself feeling guilt for any moment I have imposed my negative mindset and feelings onto those around me and made them feel anything less than their importance as a person. Being hurt is not a valid reason to hurt others. This ties to one of my most valued morals: Do not be the reason someone has a bad day. Be the kindness someone may not have had the chance to experience. Be the love someone may not have had the chance to experience. Be the joy someone may not have had the chance to experience. I cannot express this enough: Never, and I mean never, be the reason someone feels they are not valued, not important, and not loved. Never.
Going into highschool, I felt a weight off of my shoulders. I recall jumbling up names because there were so many new names to learn. I remember having the realization that there actually were people who were interested in the things I was interested in. The fact that other people also enjoyed reading was my first realization that maybe, just maybe, everything would be okay and I wasn't as alone as I felt I was. I loved getting "grown-up" assignments and getting to learn subjects I enjoyed alongside teachers that I adored. This has been a common theme throughout all my years of high school. In an instant, my freshman year was over and I was onto my sophomore year. If you were to ask me about how my sophomore year went, my best answer would be that it was a blur. AP Psychology and Algebra II occupied all of my time. None-the-less, I met even more amazing people that I find myself incredibly lucky to have been given the opportunity to continue knowing as the years have progressed.
I am so grateful and appreciative that nothing could have prepared me for the character development and personal growth brought about by my junior year. I met people I may never have met, had I not put myself into the environments I did. I pushed myself to try new things, and more importantly, to try new things that challenged and scared me. I used fear as a way to grow. I got the opportunity to feel loved by those around me just as much as I got the opportunity to feel hurt. I started doing things that I enjoyed without dictation of what others expected out of me. I would not be where I am today without the people I met and the lessons I learned throughout my junior year.
Although I have not yet experienced my senior year and I have a lifetime of personal growth to strive towards, it would not be a blog post without an overarching lesson in summary. The lesson I want to leave this post with is: It always gets better. There will be moments where you doubt yourself. There will be moments that feel like nothing else matters but the moment itself. There will be moments where you feel hopeless. There will be moments where you feel the happiest you will ever be just as much as there will be moments where you feel the saddest you will ever be. Nonetheless, it always gets better. Everything happens for a reason and what you are feeling now is a collection of all the feelings you have felt and have yet to feel. You'll find that not only is there value in everything and everyone, but there is also value in the humanistic nature of being able to feel deeply and passionately about the things around you.
Gentle Reminders:
Let people judge you.
There is freedom in letting people judge you. Do things simply for the reason that people will judge you. Get up from a crowd to help someone. Cheer as loud as you can. Dance in a room where everyone is standing still. Wear neon colors because it brings you joy to do so. Whatever it is, let people judge you. Once you start living for yourself, you'll find there is so much more to life than living for others. Don't ever diminish your importance just for the sake of avoiding the feeling of hurt. Just keep being you.
You are entirely up to you.
If you want to be someone, the only person who has the ability to grant that wish is yourself. Make choices that make you content. Make choices that are healthy for your mind as much as they are healthy for your body. Do what makes you happy. Be what makes you happy. If you feel the need for change, then take action to change. At the end of the day, the only person you will ever truly have is yourself. Stay true and kind, and watch your character reflect upon those around you.
with love,
em 𓇼
Comments